Saturday, March 14, 2009

Winning Back Love

Can Your Break Up, Divorce or Partners Rejection be Prevented,
even though it seems like the world has ended?

Are you the only one trying?

How is it that some people take their lover back after an
affair,or unfaithfulness,or abuse?

Often, after a break up, people will try resolving the
situation by repeatedly telling their ex-partner how much they
love them. Some of us believe the old saying that "love conquers
all" and that our love for our partner is so self-evident, that
it should be enough to save the relationship. The fact of the
matter is that a loving relationship often won't work. Your love
for your ex-partner, vast as it may very well be, just ain't
enough - your ex-partner needs to love you too.

AND, they need to love you the right way.

If your partners love for you is "on some level", "I really
care for you", or some similar plutonic reason, then this is a
friend, not a lover.

Couples with this claim of love for each other, are either
already failing as partners, or have decided to settle-down and
this is "convenient" - for security reasons.

Love that involves attraction, desire, and excitement -
Passion, is the romantic love that originally brings people
together, keeps them together, and brings them back together
after a breakup. When two people have this type of love for each
other they will do everything they can to keep the relationship
together. This is real "I can't live without you" love.

Revitalising "I can't live without you" love in your ex-partner
is extremely difficult because you can't force these feelings in
your ex-partner. In fact, the harder you try to force it, the
more likely they are to run the other way. A more subtle
approach is required to recreate these feelings in your
ex-partner.

Often, your ex-partner is only "reacting" to how you are acting
and what you say.

After a break up, in our devastated state of mind, we sometimes
manage to convince ourselves that if we can make our ex feel
sorry, or guilty enough for us, they will want to get back
together. So, we may act sullen and depressed... wallowing in
our self pity. Generally, being pathetic.

Or, we may over-dramatise - beating our breast, tearing our
hair, rending our clothes, and behaving in ways we normally
wouldn't (embarrassing on reflection) - hoping that our
ex-partner will realize just how much pain we are going through
and how useless life is without them. All those things that made
us attractive to our ex in the beginning, we now pour all our
energy into making ourselves unattractive.

We turn to desperate and counter productive approaches like
this when we feel we have no solid plan, viable alternatives, or
available options. Logic never comes into play. We are hurt.

Be mindful though, these self-destructive acts negatively
impact upon your life and damage any chance of getting your ex
back. The more out-of-character you act, the more certain they
become that they made a HUGE mistake ever taking up with you in
the first place!

In order to have any chance of reconciliation, the first things
to do are, temper any irrational behavior and set aside self
pity. Refuse to sink into negative feelings and behaviors. As
comfortable as self pity is, it's not helping you get back with
your ex, achieve your goals, or create the life you want.

Considering there is no "get your ex back" night school, you
may wish to visit http://hubpages.com/hub/ex-back to gain a
little more insight, as to how you can go about Winning Back
Love.


About The Author: Mr Meagher has been a Netpreneur for 5 years.
Producing diverse articles from Agriculture to Weddings. further
reading to be found at : http://www.squidoo.com/ex-back

Please use the HTML version of this article at:
http://www.isnare.com/html.php?aid=273640

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